Read Online Samuel The Sliding Sausage 1980 Book

Samuel’s great day had arrived. At exactly eight o’clock he sat on the breakfast plate with his friends Tom and Toe the tomatoes, Braden the bacon, Engle the egg and Fred the fried bread.
It was the day they had been waiting for, the day they had been made for, and they all got rather excited.
“I bet I’m liked the best!” boasted Engle the egg, and Fred the fried bread thought of a joke.

“What did the bacon say to the egg?” asked Fred.
Nobody knew.
“Lean over and tell us a yoke!” he replied. At first, Samuel didn’t get it. And then he did. “Oh, lean like bacon and yoke like joke,” he laughed, and he laughed so much he fell off the plate.
And bounced a few times on the floor!

“Oh dear!” cried everyone as they peered over the plate. “Quick, you’d better get back.” “How?” wailed Samuel.
“Bounce,” they all replied.
So Samuel bounced. Not very well at first, but then he got better and better.
Boing! Boing! Boing! he went and bounced high in the air.

And landed head-first in the butter.

Splosh!

“Oh!” Samuel said, slipping and sliding around.

And he slipped and slid and slithered until Whoops! – he slipped and landed on the floor again.

Boing! And everybody laughed.

Samuel tried again.

Boing! Boing! Boing! Samuel bounced and went high into the air, and landed feet first in the marmalade.
Squelch!
“Ugh!” he groaned as he sank into the sticky squelchy marmalade.
And he pulled and pulled to get himself out until he pulled too hard.
And landed on the floor again.
“Out of one jam into another,” joked Engle the egg.
“A sticky situation,” added Fred.

Samuel picked himself up to try again but he could hardly manage one ‘Boing!’ let alone three, so he let out a big cry for help.
“Help!”
Just then, Crankworth the cat strolled in and looked greedily at poor helpless Samuel.
Now everyone knows that most cats like sausages. But Crankworth, he really loves sausages. To eat!
“I’ll help you little sausage,” he purred. “Jump into my mouth.”
Braden the bacon couldn’t look. “Don’t do it Sam!” he called. “He’ll eat you all up!”

“You wouldn’t do that… would you?” asked
Samuel.
“Who, me?” smiled Crankworth with a wicked look in his eyes.
“Don’t listen Samuel!” called Engle the egg. “Don’t listen to him,” purred Crankworth, and he opened his mouth very wide.
Now what do you think Samuel should do? Would you jump into Crankworth’s
wide-open mouth?
No! Not for all the coconuts in Constantinople.
But Samuel was going to. Silly-billy Samuel.

Suddenly, Tom and Toe the tomatoes had an idea.
“When you’re ready!” said Tom.
“I’m ready!” said Toe. And like a couple of footballs they bounced off the plate and landed heavily on Crankworth’s head. Bonk! Bonk!… Ker Plonk!
“Neeoww!” squealed Crankworth going spiky all over. “It’s raining tomatoes!” And he raced out of the kitchen, sending Samuel flying as he went.

Poor Samuel started bouncing again. Boing! Boing! Boing!
And this time he bounced so high he reached the shelf, and got stuck in the teapot’s spout. “Get out of my spout!” said the teapot sounding nasal.
“But I’m stuck!” replied Samuel from somewhere inside.
Everyone except Samuel and the teapot started giggling.
Samuel didn’t like being giggled at and he didn’t like being stuck down the teapot.
The teapot didn’t like it much either.

There was only one thing to do. Tom and Toe the tomatoes would have to pull him out. “On the count of three,” said Tom.
“One. Two. Three!”
And they bounced up and got hold of Samuel.

Tom and Toe pulled. And they pulled.
And they pulled.
So much so that Samuel got thinner and thinner and longer and longer.
Until out he popped!

“Oh thank you!” said Samuel feeling tall. Then realised he was pretty tall.
In fact, he was probably the tallest sausage in the world.
“Time to get back,” called Engle the egg. So while Tom and Toe the tomatoes bounced off in front, Samuel wobbled along slowly
behind.
Suddenly being tall took a bit of getting used to.

The two tomatoes easily bounced back onto the plate, but, even before Samuel could try, he found he now had another problem.
A bigger problem.
Becoming tall and thin had cost Samuel his bounce. He found he couldn’t bounce any more.
“My bounce!” he wailed. “I’ve lost my bounce and now I’ll never get back.” And he started to get quite upset.

“Don’t get upset,” called Braden the bacon. “I’ve an idea. Just stand there and think very tall.”
So while Samuel thought of very tall things like giants, giraffes and chimneys, Braden spoke to the others.
“Hold on to me tightly and I’ll lean over and pull Sam up,” he said.
The trouble was, he couldn’t quite reach.
“Think of something really tall Sam,” he called.

“Like Blackpool Tower?” replied Samuel. And that did the trick.
Thinking of something very tall had made Samuel just that tiny bit taller. Braden could now reach him and he managed to haul Samuel back onto the plate. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
“Errr… was that a bacon joke when you said ‘lean’ over?” asked Engle the egg. And they all laughed…
… but not so they fell off the plate!